Musings of My Mind

Who Knows What You'll Find...

My Poetry

I never considered myself a poet, but I find myself writing poetry nonetheless. While I don't consider it to be great, I do enjoy my work.

 Most of my poetry is about one subject: Love in all it's complexities.

Also, please note, that I'm only posting poetry from January 2008 and On. 

My poetry is listed from latest to oldest (top to bottom), and each are dated with the actual date they were written. 

Limbo (11/29/08)

Sitting here I wait
Wondering, considering, hoping
Not sure up from down
Seeing your face behind my eyes
I'm stuck between two realities
But which is life?
Which is the fantasy?
Knowing what I want
Fearing it even more
I'm not too sure if I'll make it
I know my heart will break
That's just the way it goes
Caught between what you said to me
And the way you've acted since
Can't tell which is worse anymore
Knowing this and believing that
It's hard to sit here patiently
When everything I want lies so close
Why must it be like this?
Why must you be so close?
Life was much simpler when I was letting go.
Now I'm stuck in this place
No idea where to go
I have no choice in this matter
Whether you like it or not
I'm stuck here waiting on you
To actually make your own decision
When all I wish to do
Is give you the finger and a goodbye

Just... (11/27/08)

Stop.
Just Stop.
This isn't a game
And you don't get to take your time
Patience has fallen to the wayside
Now you have to make a choice
You have to make your move
Then live with the consequences
Whether they be good, or bad
You're not the only one on the line
Just the only one left to decide
And I can't go on like this anymore.

Go.
Just Go.
I can't do this anymore
I've handled all the twists and turns
Gone through every loop you threw
The time has come for me to stop helping you
It's time for me to wake up and finally see.
I've made my choice, and the consequences I reap
Karma's dealt it's harsh hand
No more will I bend to my heart's will
It's time I look out for myself
So why is it that I fall more in love each time?

Decision (11/17/08)

It was never my decision,
But thinks for the consideration.
I know you intended no harm,
But, babe, it just goes with your charm.
As much as I wish it were true-
You just don't see things the way I do.
My decision, sweetheart, I made long before,
And nothing you do will change it's core.
I took that dive, fell in deep;
I'm all in, so please take the leap.
It's all up to you, whether you like it or not.
So, stop wasting time and call the shot.

Much Love (10/19/08)

Don't start and let it be.
You have no right to use the word;
You wouldn't know love
If it wore a bozo button on its ear
And danced naked on your nose.
"Much love and good times"
But what is this love you speak of?
Good times we had, many in fact,
Love, however, was a one-way street.
You knew my heart, you chose to ignore
"Better left on the backburner"
Didn't want the truth to ruin what you had.
I lived, I dealt, I pretended all was grand
Deep down I knew that I would pay.
With tears and sorrow I watched you go
One last embrace, our goodbyes
It should have been the epic end.
I tried to let go, to move on in life
I tried to ignore you in my dreams at night.
"I thought of you; I miss you."
Who are you trying to fool?
Yet, still these words I looked over.
Friends miss friends, regardless of whats unrequited.
I did fine, managed to stop over thinking things
I shrugged it off as just being what you do.
"Much love and good times"
I hope you have your good times
And let me have mine
But I hope you know how much it hurts
To have you use love so simply
When you know very well what it does to me.

Saying Goodbye, One Last Time (08/18/08)

Chest hurts as my heart pounds out another beat.
This feeling is one I've faked a thousand times over
But the reality of it is more wrenching than I figured.
You take a part of me that I'll never get back again...

So this is my goodbye, no longer will you get a cry
I'll see your face in my mind, but I won't repay in kind
I'm saying goodbye to you, my love.
And one last time I'll whisper the truth:
I will always love you.

Tears flow unbidden, a final cleansing of my soul
I can't knock down the walls I've placed
And as much as I deny it, you're the one to blame
Go away, hide your heart, say to all how you don't feel
I'll take comfort in the fact that I know how deep it hurts you...

So this is my goodbye, I won't continue to fuel the lie
I'll see your face in my mind, but I won't repay in kind.
I'm saying my goodbye to you, my love
But one last time I'll let it all show; I'll let the world know:
I will always love you.

Moving on again, I'll let it all go, or I'll try to pretend
The life I see within my grasp grows less hazy as I see what it lacks
No more pining, no more whining, no more wishing you were here
I realize my feelings are requited, but I know it changes nothing
I'll go my way, you'll go yours, and are paths won't intwine down the line...

So this is my goodbye, no longer will you get a cry
I'll see your face in my mind, but I won't repay in kind
I'm saying goodbye to you, my love.
But one last time I'll let it all show; I'll let the world know:
I will always love you.

My love, I hope you hear my final plea, my last words.
Goodbye, goodbye, my love, goodbye.

For You- On a Tray (06/26/08)

Another memory lost in sight
Try not to feel with all my might
You're closer now than ever before
A glimpse of what I want; I need more.
A bite here, I caress there
Not sure how much more I can bear
In my dreams I still see you
Sometimes I wonder if you do too.
My best friend says I'm not alone
That it's just fear that sets your tone
But I must stop believing in this hope
For here, shortly, I must learn to cope.
You'll be gone, making your way
While in your hands- my heart on a tray.

Everything I Wanted (06/06/08)

Cling to me, tell me which way
I try so hard to focus on the facts
But hope keeps shobing it's way in.
How can I go on like this;
This is everything I've wanted
With a price I'm not sure I can pay.
I want this; I want you
But only getting half way
Will never be enough for me.
I want it all or nothing at all.

Same Story (05/11/08)

And so it begins
A simple light glow
Nothing but an idea
Sparks of maybes
So much to deal
Less to lose
Hard to figure
What to believe
Turning right
A path well known
Something familiar
But completely desired
Turn to the left
Not new to view
But certainly different
Choices to go through
Which to do
A rhetorical question
I know what I will
It's different now
Or so I say
Perchance a lie
Said only in vain
I must go on
Trust in the heart
Even if the story's end
Changes only the means

Hear Me Out (02/26/08)

If I told you I love you,
would you hear me out?
If I laid my heart aside
And let my pride die?

If I asked you to stay,
would you hear me out?
If I fell to my knees
And asked you to choose me?

If I said I wanted to try
would you hear me out?
If I let go of the past
And look on to my future?

If I pondered the us,
would you hear me out?
If I said I'll be here for you
And I promised to care?

If I decided to try
would you hear me out?
If I give as much as I recieve
And continued to believe?

In the End (01/15/08)

Is it not our dreams that start it all?
Can we blame our mind for a fall?
Time is said to bring things to light.
Maybe we should begin to fight?
Save a little bit of time to spend
So we may have a chance in the end.